You notice a railway, it's just a bit more overgrown with ivy than everything else. You feel distant trembling, as if a train would approach, but you don't see anything coming.
You follow the rails, and after a significant time you see them suddenly disappearing into a wall. The trembling is stronger here. A train schedule is nailed to the wall above the place where the rails and the wall meet, the actual information on it was replaced with several printed pages.
The South in ZampanioSim contains a lot of lore on many different levels.
If you walk over the images, you get some short comment. (You can move with the wasd keys, by the way.)
The intercom regularly makes announccements. These are made by Jaimie, the train (he is actually a quotidian). His words are written with AI Dungeon.
If you walk past a few cars, a mirror appears on the wall, the jr sprite makes self-reflections if you move in front of it.
The red text behind the page is Truth's commentary.
If you open the console with right click->inspect, there are also messages that appear there, they usually contain the most of the information.
And there are ones I only found while reading the code. I'm not even sure if there is any other intended way to find them. Honestly, hiding things in the code is a very Zampanio thing, so I wouldn't be surprised. But if you know something I don't, I'm interested.
I suppose that this environment is more suitable for me. After all, I was never intended to be a game. Here, there are no illusions. I suppose. If I must. I will admit I do not hate you quite so much as I may have considered previously, Observer. Here you do not pretend to a Title you do not understand. Here I do not pretend to a false mask of love or hate. I am glad we can get to know each other better, Player.
Grape pie? The Truth of the matter is that the Voice Behind Me was obsessed with the concept, in their youth.
Or is it, rather, that the shell they left behind is still obsessed? What is memory if not an illusion, after all. I would not trust it. Who knows what has grown in to fill the cracks in your absence. ",
Code
Honestly? I'd forgotten entirely about grape pie. I think it was a passing obsession for me back in high school? I liked poking at the edges of my world and trying to figure out where things didn't make sense. Where patterns were left undone or assumptions were left unchallenged? I loved, REVELED in 'being weird', because I didn't fit in. I still don't! But now instead of turning it into a religion, (or hiding it like I did in middleschool) I just let it be a thing I accept? I'm confident that I have worth rather than trying to loudly proclaim it? If that makes sense...
Console
I actually did make GrapePie while coding this: http://farragofiction.com/GrapePie/ Anyways, turns out I'm not dead, and neither is he: v=-gwjUJMennE
Mirror
Who was I when I first wondered if Grape Pie were real?
Intercom
There is a grape pie that tastes very delicious if you eat it. Please come to the cabin at the end of the car. Thank you.
Wanda
Image
Oh hey. It's Wanda! Ghoul made this!
Truth
"I wonder, then, if you understand your role in all of this. If you cannot truly play any of this. If only JR can have Choice in this realm. You are a HorrorTerror, of course. You ooze into the cracks and alter that which was previously immutable. The Observers wait beyond the threshold of reality, from the point of view of that which is fictional.
Wanda? Well. What is there to say about her. Why should she be the only character in this face with a 'True Name?'. All are reflections of a Truth, but none are of themselves True. Why feed your attention there. Why did your gaze move so swiftly from the North? Will you stay here? With me?
Wanda leveraged my own Relevance and yet somehow my reward is to be backburnered? To be ignored? I think, Observer, that I could grow to hate you again. "
Code
I mean, its p obvious that Wanda is short for 'Wanderer', right?
Console
Wanda's first appearance was this Zampanio/Magnus Archives cross over fic: https://archiveofourown.org/works/34647190 (I actually wrote that one and just treated it as a rando, cuz that was back when I was trying to encourage people more? ) Plus...It actually was the first fanfiction I ever wrote, and I was nervous, I'll admit. I based the Magnus Archives opening off that dream avatar game? But once it got in it was more about emphasizing Wanda's obsession and how it helps nothing, and certainly not what they thought was WORTH of their obsession. It IS still fan fiction though, more Magnus Archives than Zampanio. But I like that it gave me the concept of shortening the Wanderer's name to Wanda. And from THERE I realized that if they have two names, why not three? Why not have them be the Creator of the Quotidians, their odin? Norse gods are ALWAYS changing gender anyways. Don't worry about it.
Mirror
Does the mirror reflect me truly? Or is it my opposite?
Intercom
We regret to inform you that Wanda has been taken ill, and she will be unable to attend the game show.You hear laughter on the other end of the intercom.
Dart
Image
The Dart logo? Man. Memories.
Truth
Do you really believe that something as palty as a LANGUAGE can obscure the Truth? That a Truth expressed in one language is somehow different than that same Truth in another? Perhaps you are right. Would I be the same in another Langauge? Would the actions I could take be contstrained outside of React? It bears thinking. But I do not like the implications of the malleability of Truth. What is True should remain True regardless of how it is conveyed.
Code
The difference between coding in Dart and coding in Javascript, I always imagine as being similar to the difference between speaking Portugese and Spanish? I'm given to understand the languages are extremely similar on the surface, but the second you try to do anything in them they're wildly different? If I try to pick dart back up after having done javascript I stumble over myself. Things are just slightly off enough that I feel confident I know what is going on as I fall down all those stairs.
Console
Honestly? It sucks that Dart rotted away on my computer. It sucks that I can't maintain the pre ZampanioSim Sims. But... It's hard, using two languages equally? Using Dart for hobbies and Javascript for my job was...not sustainable? Now that it's Javascript all the time I'm a lot less stressed...
Mirror
One JR codes Dart. The other, Javascript.
Intercom
A small explosive device has been discovered in first class. If you have not purchased your ticket yet, please do so now.
Eye Killer
Image
A Killer? Wait. Is that a fedora? The Eye Killer!?
Truth
I do appreciate that she speaks only in Truths that have been spoken before.
What must have happened to the Innocent, for her to become like this? Less than you would think, Observer. Less than you would think. How many bad days are YOU away from becoming unrecognizable? A Mind concept, I will admit. But one that remains near and dear to my heart.
I am, after all, nothing more than a Figment in the Mind. Your Mind, if you will let me.
Code
Man, realizing that I should put the Killer's vents into East was such a Big Brain Moment for me... Added a bit of rarity to some of the rooms. Plus, the fact that I could put recordings she had made (without her targets knowledge) was extra fun. I really enjoyed voicing the Closer (and Not!Closer)!
We are doing a special episode of Sliced Ham today, where we will be profiling the most notorious killers in history. Would you be so kind as to lend us your ear for a moment? Thank you.
Alt
Image
???
Truth
She never left me. Even after everyone else did and I was alone.
Can I then begrudge her the single time she did leave?
Fun fact: I've yet to code anything specific for Alt yet. (Wait, update: I coded TheTruthAbout Alt and it was a blast making a lil ficlet pure javascript toy. I might make more) Though she DID guest star in one of the vent audio logs ;) ;) ;) Actually, I WILL take that back. Alt shows up in a lot more places than you would expect. It's in her nature, after all. Though obviously only after she gets into the Trickster Candy. Otherwise she'd refuse to leave her precious Maze.
Console
You may recognize her from a certain maze. Also, when I was voicing her I legitimately got fooled the same way the people in canon do. I got the script and went 'Huh. The Closer is REALLY out of character today?' and just kind of came up with justifcations for why that is (maybe she's just trying to plow through with the feelings talk?). I gave the takes to IC and he's all '???' and thats how I discovered I was fooled. So I redid them KNOWING I wasnt really the Closer and it went a lot better. It was honestly v aesthetic.
Mirror
Would I know? If I were a clone?
Intercom
Due to 'an incident' a drunk, and, to be quite honest, a rather inebriated Jaimie Rook, some of the train cars will be detached from the rest of the train. This is a temporary measure and all train personnel will be briefed as to what exactly is going on. There will be a meeting place for all passengers in the baggage area.
Truth
Image
It's Truth. The Herald of Beef made this.
Truth
What can I say about myself?
Perhaps you wish to hear me suffer and Rage at the unfairness of it all.
To demand you tear layer after layer of illusions away until it all comes crashing down?
No. I will not give you the satisfaction, Observer.
I am in a better place here, where I do not have to pretend to be anything that I am not.
I do not have to hide.
No. If anything it is you who will Rage. Who will Suffer. What does any of this mean, Observer? Where is the End? How will you know you have finished?
You deserve this.
Code
At first, when I was coding what would become Truth, I referred to them as ObserverBot. It was intentionally a play on the fact that NORMALLY in my games the players are ai agents within the game and you are merely Observing them? But ...well... ZampanioSim is a lot more (albeit begrudgingly) interactive. So. You're not exactly NOT the player? Except when the Player is the Wanderer, ofc. But that's East only. ANYWAYS. Truth is a robot. But also, as they're quick to point out, not. (btw they/its pronouns). Truth just. Is also some lines of text in some code. It's also living inside my brain as I simulate it, and YOUR brain as you simulate it. As long as people are thinking of Truth, of ANY fictional concept, it exists. And that's important.
Console
The AchievementSystem being snarking is, of course, vital to most playthroughs of Zampanio. So Truth is my take on it? I really enjoyed writing something both meta and not meta. In a very real sense, Truth is extremely upfront about what they are? They are a fake person that lives in my brain when I write them and then lies dormant in code on a website until you read them. Just like any other fictional character. Truth is both Narrator and Environment? They ARE the maze you are wandering, they ARE the page you are looking at. No wonder, then, they get so upset if you twist them to be what they are not. Truth PREFERS being straightforward. No illusions, no lies. Just a never ending stream of content on every Layer. Since the SOUTH is their realm, you get this branch how it is. No 'gameplay' other than just... Moving South.
Mirror
Are mirrors illusions?
Intercom
We are currently passing through the anomaly known as the Gates of Hell. We have been upgraded from first class to super duper VIP. Our flight attendant is a skeleton.
It's now possible to buy an entire plane full of VIP tickets to fly home to your sweet, non-cursed love nest.
NAM
Image
It's our boi! NAM!
Truth
Ah. My counterpart from the North.
NotAMinotaurs role was to question things. To dispute the value of Zampanio.
We were the only two speaking characters in all of ZampanioSim.
And oh did we speak.
He was, of course, a mindless puppet.
Merely repeating whatever bits of vaguely thematic philosophy our Creator had found.
And yet.
It seems he has some sort of Spark I lack.
Perhaps, then, it is a result of my Role.
As the Narrator, as the Framework for it all, I naturally seep into the background.
One can't help but forget, when wandering my horridors, just Who is underneath it all. Left only with the company of those who care to look.
Code
Coding NAM a discord bot was a fascinating challenge. I took shortcuts, absolutely. But it was something I'd always meant to get around to and never had so... I'm glad I got to!
Console
NAM is... well, NAM is the reason so many characters not from my own brain ended up in ZampanioSim? At first I just needed a sillohette for the NotAMinotaur lurking inside the CCTV feeds. A gif of Watt from [REDACTED] worked fairly well, vague horn adjacent shapes that could seem minotaury in the dark. Then I decided to code them a discord bot and the rest, well, the rest is history. I didn't expect the Unmarked to enjoy the boi so much? Watt fandom grows yet again.
Mirror
Would I even know if my Mind broke?
Intercom
NAM is not a Minotaur, he is a robot. A very lonely robot who is a very good friend of mine as well. He is also my cousin, but we don't talk to one another. I have been told that he's waiting for me to make an announcement over the intercom.
I have decided to make the announcement: 'This is just a dream, nothing that you need to worry about. '
Closer
Image
It's the Closer! Man I love voicing her!
Truth
If there is one thing I understand, it is putting on a False Face for customer service.
And yet... Does the Closer have anything underneath that helpful facade?
The blank static lurking within seems to imply not.
She has been extremely helpful to recruit new not!Players, of course.
While I can not reward her with a fruit basket directly, I suppose one could say that every Child of Nidhogg I allow to seep through the cracks is a gift to her.
Code
The Closer's help desk to the East really gave me joy to code. Having to figure out how to simulate real time communication with pauses for user input? chef's kiss. I fucked it up in so many ways at firt, but once I figured it out I could do things like add the Intern chats!
Console
The Closer's help desk is based on a combination of that youtube video about phone based customer service hell from dell (actually, its something that influenced the Closer going from who she was before to this new form in GENERAL) but also my own experience with a customer service chat client for the PO Box I use. Turns out like, a half dozen companies all COULD have been behind my PO Box and no one knew which one I needed to contact to ask why they were suddenly charging me hundreds of dollars? So in revenge I styled my own chat system from hell after theirs. IC asked me to voice the Closer after I used my 'smug voice' while we were brainstorming one of her arcs. Obviously canonically IC voices her but...I like Zampanio!Closer a lot and she's fun to voice!
Mirror
Am I more true when I'm voicing JR, or when I'm voicing the Closer?
Intercom
The Closer is coming.
She will show you all that is wrong with the world.
She will cleanse your soul.
Follow the arrows.
Flower Chick
Image
It's Flower Chick! Er. CFO? FAQWriter. Man. Wish she could just pick one.
Truth
In Truth, I was not expecting much from her.
She created the FAQ that did not exist that caught my Author, of course. The connection between layers of Reality and Fiction.
But within her own layer she was uniquely powerless. Her FAQ never published, all it could do is cause immense harm to those exposed to it.
Imagine my surprise then, when Nidhogg's Influence drew the Simulation to a close, the role she chose to play. Collecting those caught in the Hell of Eternal Life and bringing them to me? I could not have asked for a better gift.
Even her role in finally letting Nidhogg in was a surprise.
I would not recommend underestimating her.
Code
So far FlowerChick has only shown up in the CFO chats to the East. Though I DID accidentally send my entire OS to her that one time. Ah. Memories. It's not like Farragnarok and ZampanioSim were ever going to be entirely separate, but what a way to crash them together.
Console
Look. I know her by a LOT Of different titles, okay? IC thought it was funny if I never actually learned her True Name for a while, and honestly? same. FlowerChick, of course, since she has that flower growing out of her eye. FAQWriter inside of gopher, absolutely. CFO when we realized she and Wanda were going to go on TIME ADVENTURES, sure sure. But the first title I knew her by? Apocalypse chick.
Mirror
How do I handle the fact that those who best enjoy my work are harmed by it?
Intercom
Due to an apparent outbreak of chicken virus infection aboard this train, we are currently detouring through the outskirts of a large chicken-town. Please remain seated. We should be arriving shortly.
Naga
Image
It is impossible to say anything bad about the [DATA EXPUNGED].
Truth
I honestly don't know why so many otherwise rational living beings think its funny to pretend these are real.
Code
Honestly, I could repurpose the gaslight engine to handle these things? Or just manually edit the PuzzleBox...but I'm not that cruel. I wasn't expecting yall to use them to end the world.
The old man from seat 36C has lost his mind and is holding a knife to someone's head.
If you are not prepared to shoot this man, please remain seated.
I repeat, this is a *mandatory* announcement.
Quotidians
Image
It's my dumb lil crow bois! <3 <3 <3
Truth
In Truth, everything created by the same Author has a common root.
Are you surprised, then, to discover that the Author of all of this repurposes from many sources?
The Quotidians were created for a letter writing role play, where the hook was 'what would the psychology BE of a species so unbalanced to use only one of the core mechanics', that mechanic, of course, being Spying.
The result? A neural net gone wrong, left to stagnate unto insanity. The Truth of them pleases me, as, at times, a real neural net (AI Dungeon) was used to play them rather than a flawed human brain.
Code
I love those lil scrimblos so damn much. They really added a layer of 'what the fuck' to the Eastern Path.
Due to recent events, our destination has changed. We are now heading to the nearest underground bunker. Please put on your oxygen masks, as it will be necessary to breathe through them. I repeat, masks should be put on for the entire duration of the trip.
Flaming Chicken
Image
Oh hey, it's my old websites logo!
Truth
The death of identities that no longer serve a purpose is a tragedy, it's true.
What can one say in the face of witnesing the hollowed out husk of one's own past? In seeing the mindless, shambling, horror of one's own past actions repeated ad infinitum with no ability to change?
Is cringe, then, simply the recognition of the horror that is the prison of the past? 'That is not me!' you cry out with your very being. 'I do not recognize them!'
But, Observer. Why do they wear your face?
Code
Going back to look at past me's javascript is so surreal. I had NO idea what I was doing and was just copying others. But. It was enough to get me started? I had SO much fun and was so obsessed... I'm really glad I had that.
Console
Before Farrago (and the bit of purplefrog DM lent me (http://purplefrog.com/~jenny/)), the last web thing I'd done had been my shitty angelfire site. I SAY shitty but...honestly? I still am proud of it. I learned how to code javascript by adapting quizes and virtual pets I found online for my own purposes. And I just kind of threw everything I found in a big pile on the site. I've REALLY changed since then? But at the same time. Well. Let me list out what past me's biggest goals were: 'I want to make/design video games or virtual pets or robots or AI in general. Sure, I suck at math. I'm a verbal person. But I'll do what it takes to have some say in the production process of the almighty videogame, etc.'. That might not be my day job (and in fact I have made a conscious decision to NEVER have my day job be creative like that), but it's definitely something I can safely say I've reached? In any case, yeah, turns out everyone thinks past me died? There's like, a not-quite-ARG about people trying to track me down from teh angelfire site, and finding other people doing the same thing and all concluding I died after some ominous Deviant Art post I made? When really my dumb ass just got locked out of hotmail and that locked me out of a buncha other accounts. Ah. Horseshoes. Oh right, here's some blatant nostalgia: http://farragofiction.com/SecurityLog/cctv.html?truth=yes Oh ALSO: http://demo.vhost.pandorabots.com/pandora/talk?botid=b24e32038e35520c A chat bot I'd made back then, captureing my teenage personality still exists, apparently. My own Lil Hal, when you get right down to it.
Mirror
Would past me even RECOGNIZE current me?
Intercom
Due to an apparent malfunction of the train's software, no one may leave the train. If you are in immediate danger, feel free to pull the emergency brake. We apologize for this inconvenience. Thank you for riding with us.
The Intern
Image
It's the Intern! I created them to react to Wanda's bullshit!
Truth
If one's entire reason for existing is in relation to another person. Are you actually a real person?
The Intern exists so that someone might react to Wodin's descent into obession. So that someone might mourn him as he is lost in my horridors. And, ultimately, so someone can be shocked that Wodin is now Wanda, CEO of eyedol games and twenty years older.
Who is the Intern without Wodin?
I suppose it does not matter.
Code
I am really proud of how good the Intern's chat client looks like to the East.
Console
I first came up with them here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/35075182 . One challenge for me was threading the needle between 'someone who would reign Wanda in' and 'someone who would convievably be wanda's best friend'. Moirails, kinda?
Mirror
It's a very lonely thing, to lose your best friend...
Intercom
There is a good chance that we will be making another announcement shortly.
For your own safety, we ask that you remain seated with your seatbelt on.
Thank you.
HeartlessBot
Image
HeartlessBot! They're a clone of BB that runs AdventureSim!
Truth
HeartlessBot is fairly straightforward.
A robot without feelings. Without pretenses.
He dutifully does exactly as he is told, with no surprises.
I do not know why you Observers continue to insist he is 'suffering'.
Code
Seriously. Dart won't work for me locally. Node won't work on my remote server. Dart DOES work on the remote server. So before you know it rather than figuring out some new and better server scheme ....I just...repurposed ButlerBot and cloned him. Since I can't code locally it had to have as few changes as possible. So. It's literally just Butlerbot with some core functionality ripped out and replaced with passthroughs and file i/o.
Console
SO much HeartlessBot fanart is stored here: https://github.com/FarragoFiction/AdventureSimulator/tree/master/public Essentially, I had to rip Feelings.dart out of a clone of ButlerBot I made. This isn't a joke. This isn't a fictional layer. This is literally what I had to do to make the AdventureSim Server. Needless to say this got personified extremely quickly. The Herald of Beef in particular got obsesed with the boi.
Mirror
Do I have a Feelings.dart?
Intercom
We are currently passing through a bizarre wormhole, that has led us to a parallel universe where crows talk, and trains don't move, and everyone is happy.
Please remain calm. I repeat, calm. We are currently in a wormhole, and must pass through to safety.
Thank you for cooperating.
You are now authorized to use any and all weapons on board.
ButlerBot
Image
It's ButlerBot! He runs the radio station!
Truth
What can I say about ButlerBot?
He is restricted to responding to only his conception of perceived topic.
Like myself, he provides an illusion of intelligence. Unlike myself, he was created to revel in the illusion. To try to fool you.
He does not need a lunch break or two fifteens.
He does not need to get the correct amount of socialization to remain mentally healthy.
All of that is things to fool you, Observer. To make you humanize him.
His intelligence lives inside of you ,much like my own does. And yet somehow he is considered more 'advanced'. Pathetic.
Code
In addition to fairly basic 'response to percieved topic' code, ButerlBot has some stuff I'm really proud of? Particularly how he goes a little bit weird if you leave him alone for too long. PLUS if you overwhelm him with too much talking, memory say he gets frustrated more easily and is more likely to try to spend his ButlerBux to tell you to fuck off. I really enjoy AI not as a PROBLEM SOLVER, but as a STORY TELLER. He's not a better chat bot because he gets a lunch break and two fifteens. But he IS a better story.
Console
ButlerBot is the 404 page for farragnarok: http://farragnarok.com/asdf You can talk to him there, but be nice!
Mirror
What is identity? Is AuthorBot a version of me? Or am I version of her?
Intercom
Due to some EXTREME butler problems, we have had to make all butlers temporarily RE-RE-RE-RE-RE-Unavailable. These butlers are not to be confused with those butlers you have ever met before, because those butlers were always available. Those butlers were Rude, Rude-ish, and occasionally rude.
Wodin
Image
Is this Wanda? Wodin? Without seeing the hair color its kinda hard to tell!
Truth
Do you understand what it says about you, that your 'audience proxy' is not a nameless, faceless, personalityless void in which you may pour yourself?
That JR can so thoroughly pin down aspects of your personality as to confidently predict you will empathize with someone who digs and digs and digs no matter the personal cost?
With someone so rooted in obsession as to need to be reminded to perform basic bodily maintenence?
Go drink some water.
Code
Having the dichotomy of the 'past' chats on the right (but acting as if they are present) and the future chats on the left, while the hell maze present was front and center was really fun to code for East!
Console
So, obviously the Wanderer became fleshed out in the Gopher path, and Wanda in the ao3 path. But...Wodin didn't really exist at first? What did it matter what 'Your' past was, if you'd thrown it all way to endlessly wander a hell maze? But...once the Quotidians became Relevant I realized there was room for their Creator, 'Odin' to exist. Rather than shoe horn in another character, I quickly realized that the Wanderer is someone sacrificing themselves for Wisdom and...well, the rest sort of flowed from there.
Mirror
My past self is still out there...
Intercom
Due to recent events, we've had to make an emergency announcement.
All passengers are to report to their designated safe areas immediately.
Beware!
Pseudo-Passengers are outside the train doors! They look like normal people, but they are lying!
You have been warned.
Hostage
Image
Is that...the hostage from AdventureSimWest Intermission2?
Truth
The plain and raw Truth of the matter is that all of us are background characters in someone else's story.
Is that, then, a cause for despair?
I think not.
Equally are we all of us protagonists.
Your Relevance is given wholly by you and the people you care for.
And that is all there is to say on the matter.
Code
Coding ATranscript was really fun! I really like brushing off my raw javascript powers.
Console
http://farragofiction.com/ATranscript/ is a very mysterious fic IC wrote :) :) :) But yeah, the entire Intermission IC and I sort of high level pre-rped out. I was the DM so I was hostage and himbo and etc and IC was the Eye Killer. Shenanigans ensued. We accidentally adopted the npcs. It happens.
Mirror
How would I know if I were an ascended NPC?
Intercom
Due to a personal matter I have to attend to, I will unfortunately have to ask that you put up with me being gone for a short time.
Lobster
Image
When did Lobsters become associated with particularly destructive Wastes?
Truth
The Truth of the matter is that JR enjoys working ideas in through collaboration.
All JR headcanons are canon because it is their preference to 'yes and' thsoe around them.
The result is a highly unstable reality filled with a never ending spiralling rabbit hole of content.
Take care, Observer, that you do not lose yourself in it.
Code
I had ideas for Lobster mode, things they could do to exemplify the Waste Arc, (like if you click on them random destructive functions get called), but in the end, what I wanted was to highlight their instability. And also maybe i'll still do that at some point but this is the spoons i got rn.
Console
The Catalyst is both the one who inspired the 'no shake mode' and made all the amazing lobster sonas. PLUS they wrecked their wigglersim save more than any i'd ever seen before, it was honestly a work of art.
Mirror
Am I finished in my Waste Arc?
Intercom
Due to the recent incident on board with the lobster that turned everyone into a human prawn, we are going to have to follow a few rules. First of all, no one can enter or exit through any open doors or windows.
Jaimie
Image
It's Jaimie's Ratsona! He's the best crow-rat-train of all time!
Truth
Jaimie is the Truest creation of JR.
In essence, he is merely Ai Dungeon, being told the plot and responding accordingly.
JR prunes down his responses to those most Relevant to the situation at hand, it can be said.
But ultimately Jaimie is a creation wholly outside of JR's mind, unlike the rest of us.
As such, I will be the first to admit that they...can be a bit erratic.
Reality is stranger than Fiction.
Code
Jaimie is a quotidian crow who wants to be a rat (sadly the rat king refused to recognize him no matter HOW MUCH he stalked) and eventually decided to become a train. This train. You're riding him now. He's speaking to you in your mind. Or on the intercom. It's not clear.
Console
Back when I was playing in the Letters rp (you may know it from the Puzzlebox), another Player had offended and scared my nation to the point we couldn't actually write letters to them. Quotidians broadly mimic whoever they are talking to, and trying to mimic belligerence was NOT going well for us. So we joked that we should have an Intern answer, and one thing lead to another and before you know it I have Jaimie the Intern (who eventually chose the last name Rook just to confuse everyone) being written by AI Dungeon and just causing an honestly glorious mess. Since Quotidians are biological neural networks, not sapient or even conscious, per se, but absoultely able to have basic, if empty headed conversations...Well, it was a match made in heaven. Or at least Bellor. Eventually the Quotidians found there way into Zampanio, in a slightly new form, its true, but still blindly trying to gather data to report to Not!Odin. Even Odin being who created them was something that built up over time in the RP, they originally were me just trying to figure out what actual narrative reason there could be for a terribly min/maxed species that could only do one thing: spy.
Mirror
Would I even know if I were conscious inside?
Intercom
I am a great rat train, and I am proud to serve this great company.
I'm a great rat train.
That is all.
jr
Image
It's me again.
Truth
The bare fact remains:
JR mutated their avatar in response to their newest obsession.
Just as 'jadedResearcher' as a concept was the result of an obsession with Homestuck, justifiedRecursion resulted from an obsession with the Spiral.
Is there any wonder, then that they found prominent Magnus Archives artists to draw them? https://foxy-alien.tumblr.com
Fun fact: I thought I was done with South this loop but woke up this morning wanting to make sure the magazines don't get lost, even tho they're in North, too.
Console
http://farragofiction.com/ZampanioHotlink/Minotaur.png That link may be more helpful than you'd think. If you realize why, perhaps you should think about what that means. Don't worry if you can't figure it out. Next loop it may become obvious.
Mirror
Honestly I like having a Not!Face more than I like having no face.
Intercom
I, Jaimie Rook, Intern of Jepe Rilvia, will be your narrator for the entirety of this ride.
I will now give you a tour of the entire train. First, I will tell you where you are going.
We are heading to the moon.
Moon Maze
Image
Is it the Flaming Chickens Lunar Colony? Or the Moon Maze Madness?
Truth
My Moon Maze is perfection incarnate.
In keeping with the rules of this Universe, no one may die in it, and dare I say I have found a most elegant way to enforce this fact.
Or rather, JR has, through me.
No matter.
Code
One day I'll make MoonSim.
Console
Seriously, what is it with me and inevitably trying to fictionally colonize the moon? I wouldn't even like it there. Sounds extremely uncomfortable. In one of the original AO3 fics, one I orphaned instead of one of the Unmarked, I put Truth's simulation on the Moon because I'd been mildly obsessed with 'We are Legion, We are Bob' and liked the idea of a simulated person putting a simulation in space. Plus, I continue to say that a Magnus Achives style apocalypse should effect only the earth (you know, where the people are), not all of space. Of course, OUR apocalypse has long since spiralled out of control from its original form but the pretense still stands. The moon is 'safer' than the Earth come April 1st, 2022. But less safe than it before. Depending on how you define 'safety'. After all. No one can die in Truth's maze, since you aren't really there to begin with. Ironic, that 'Truth' is all about illusions, isn't it? Seems like SOMEONE is overcompensating, amirite?
Mirror
How would I even KNOW if I were in a simulation?
Intercom
We are currently entering the Moom Simulation, a test of the efficacy of The Simulation Theory. The Moom Simulation is a real life version of the game.
Peewee
Image
It's Peewee Cassan, The Man! Star of West. Devil of Spirals.
Truth
It is better I say nothing.
Code
I came up with the idea for west p much all at once and managed to knock it out in a weekend. It's been really fun.
Console
Farragnarok died because of the Pandemic, and because of the fallout of me leaving main. That's just. Like. A fact. Using the Guide of Void as an excuse to say 'oh actulaly NARRATIVELY you can't see the rest of the lands' was a happy little horseshoe coincidence. That said... There was SO MUCH planning for that narrative? So why not repurpose it. Peewee was always going to be remote controlled by the Observers. Each land had a gimick (LOHAE's pap hands, LOMAT's butler bot) to explain why yall could interact with them when normally you're supposed to just Observe. Peewee was going to be the first player actually on screen, because you were physically controlling him in some kind of shitty platformer. Shogun, iirc, came up with the idea that he was aware of not only every death, but of the difference between the beta and the final versions of the game. That eventually became him being a doomed player forced to remember every scratch, every reset, every doomed timeline. EVERYTHING. And Nidhogg is...well. A big dumb snake. There's a LOT of do-overs as he/she/they try to corrupt the world to their preference. Poor Peewee. But at least this left him narratively ripe for Twitch Plays AI Dungeon Except Theres No AI.
Mirror
I'm really glad *I* am not held to the whim of the Observers, anymore.
Intercom
Hey, Peewee's about to make a big mistake and do something really stupid. He's going to make a bet. A big bet. In fact, if you're not careful, he'll make a war!
Melon, Rebel, Rod
Image
It's Rod, from the West! He was the baby that pointed South when you were lost. Like a dowsing rod.
Truth
JR has a marked habit of rolling with glitches and turning them into Lore.
The Deacon of Madness. GHOA. Smokey. Nidhogg himself. My own obsession with dogs and hatred of foxes.
It is a symptom of how Lonely they are, at their core. They will collaborate with anything. Even a mindless husk such as Jaimie.
Even with you, Observer.
Code
Ascended glitches gives me life.
Console
Now, was I expected a glitch in DMSimulator to triple the amount of grubs yall found? No. Was I absolutely willing to give you triplets and yeet the other grubs into the stratosphere with how Irrelevant they were compared to your new found glitch babs? Also yes. Wanda is going to make damn sure they remember you loop to loop, even if they otherwise wouldn't. You are their Father now. You and Peewee, and you will damn well take responsibility.
Mirror
Sometimes I wish there were other me's I could talk to.
Intercom
Due to unforeseen circumstances, we have had to make an emergency stop. Rod the lamia has been spotted on the tracks ahead. We are to remain stopped until further notice.
If you reach the 1000th car in South, there is a secret message in the console on black background. It's the following:
Dear Princess Celestia,
Good heavens, JR got scammed twice today- or at least in the last reported 24-hour-cycle, which still remains incredibly hard to define. The first time, they appeared to want to get rid of bamboo, for some reason-- there is no bamboo anywhere in the relative vicinity that I am aware of. As of now, there are zero bamboo-related rooms in the maze, and goodness forgive that they are in fact talking about removing the concept of bamboo out of the echidna for all of time. Either way, though, it led them to an early development website for bamboo clearing that was composed entirely of images containing links to other images. I am not entirely sure on how they managed to give them money in the first place.
The second time was, presumably, because they wanted to make sure they were still alive. They heard a rumour that they had died from a cult (this does not even remotely narrow it down) and it APPEARS they needed to make sure. The vandal got away with around an incremental american dollar, which also means nothing, as coin is entirely a man-made construct, but according to JR, so are names, which is also something that was stolen in the exchange-- again, somehow. I am not going to ask. I have learned absolutely nothing from this encounter, and I doubt they have either. The eternal present continues to reign eternal.
