Obvious exit: http://www.knucklessux.com/PuzzleBox/Secrets/Eyedol_Games_Customer_Service_Sample_Logs_Zampanio_Quest.pdf
Origin: This one should be a reward at the end of LossPassSim. I'm not sure, I still haven't managed to figure out how that one works, I just saw it linked in the code. It can obviously also be found in the PuzzleBox secrets.(Just like Wanda's Resume)
The Watcher's note: TELLBRAK3700 is a reference to a really interesting archeological find, there were hundreds eye-idols, the Eyedolgames logo comes from there. You can see them here, the images begin on page 86.
The eight digit code (01011010) in binary codes for the letter Z.
The following are situations taken from our archives, representing the different types of situations that you are likely to receive on the job. Alongside your SERVICE MANUAL, study this tool to know how to respond to a wide variety of customers.
Situation: A customer is inquiring about where to buy ZampanioQuest.
Customer's Profile: Female, 22. Calm, amicable.
Goals: Place the customer's order. Answer their inquiries in a timely manner.
Agent: Hello, and thank you for calling Eyedol Games, where all your wishes come true! How can I help you?
Customer: Hey, I'd like to know where I can buy the game. I went to the store after I saw the ad, but I haven't found anyone who sells it.
Agent: You can buy ZampanioQuest at your nearest local retailer. You may also order a copy from us at no additional cost. Would you like to order, Miss?
Customer: Yes, that would be great.
Agent: Excellent. You are placing an order for one copy of ZampanioQuest Standard Edition, correct?
Customer: Yes, that is correct.
Agent: May I have a name and address you'd like it shipped to?
Customer: I'm Penny Wickner. My address is at 141 Pomeroy Meadow Rd. Southampton...
Agent: Got it. To see if this is correct, I am going to repeat the information back to you; you are Penny Wickner, and your address is at 141 Pomeroy Meadow Rd. Southampton... is this correct?
Customer: Yes.
Agent: Alright, thank you. Would you like to upgrade to ZampanioQuest Deluxe Edition? It is only twenty-five dollars extra, and adds around sixteen hundred thousand new quests and thirteen new hats for you to enjoy.
Customer: Sure, why not?
Agent: Excellent! I have you noted down for a ZampanioQuest deluxe edition at the address you specified. Would you like us to send you an invoice, or would you prefer paying with cash?
Customer: Cash is fine, thank you.
Agent: Then I'll notify you when your copy of ZampanioQuest is near you. Is there anything else I can help you with, Ms. Wickner?
Customer: No, that will be all. Thank you!
Agent: You're welcome, Ms. Wickner! Thank you for calling Eyedol Games, and I hope I've been of service. Goodbye.
Situation: A customer is requesting help with CD failure regarding the game ZampanioQuest.
Customer's Profile: Male, 50. Partially Deaf. Disgruntled.
Goals: Keep the customer pacified. Answer their inquiries in a timely manner.
Agent: Hello, and thank you for calling Eyedol Games, where all your wishes come true! How can I help you?
Customer: Huh? Raise your voice, son.
Agent: Oh, I'm sorry. Do you hear me OK?
Customer: What are you, a sissy? I said raise your damn voice.
Agent: Of course, sir. Is this better?
Customer: That's better. So, I don't know what you clowns have going on with this 'Zampano' game, but I got it for my daughter and it's not working. I stuck the damn disc in, blew on it, nothing. Are you video game producers not capable of making a CD that works? I'm on my third one. You guys better have a good explanation.
Agent: I am so sorry for the inconvenience, sir. I understand this is a stressful situation for you. I can ask you a series of preliminary questions, to see if it'll solve your problem. Is that alright with you?
Customer: Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just get this thing fixed.
Agent: Understood. First, may I have your name?
Customer: Elias Smith.
Agent: Thank you, Mr. Smith. Have you tried wiping the CD?
Customer: Of course I've tried wiping the damn CD! It's the first thing I did!
Agent: Of course, sir. I understand the frustration. Have you checked if your console can read other discs?
Customer: Yes, it can read the rest of our stuff.
Agent: Have you inserted the code in the back of the manual on our website?
Customer: What?
Agent: In the back of the manual, there should be an eight-digit code. This is part of the DRM that our games come installed with. By creating an account, and loading the code, the console will recognize disc ownership.
Customer: What kind of backwards fucking plan is that?
Agent: It is simply to assure your product is as secure as possible. If you'd like, I can make you an account right now.
Customer: Yeah, that works.
Agent: Excellent! I already have your name. I will be setting a default password of TELLBRAK3700. The password, again, is T-E-L-L-B-R-A-K-3-7-0-0. Is that noted?
Customer: Yeah, got it.
Agent: Good! Can you read me the eight-digit code?
Customer: Uh, sure. It should be zero, one, zero, one, one, zero, one, zero.
Agent: Thank you very much! Okay, your account should be set up as ESmith. By inserting the game, you agree to the terms and conditions. Can you try inserting the disc now?
Customer: Yeah, sure. Hold on. Okay, it seems to be working now. Yeah, okay. Thanks.
Agent: No problem, Mr. Smith. I hope your daughter enjoys the game. Thank you for calling Eyedol Games. Goodbye!
Situation: A customer is requesting help with hardware failure regarding the game ZampanioQuest.
Customer's Profile: Male, 34. Calm.
Goals: Divert the conflict to the correct department. Answer their inquiries in a timely manner.
Agent: Hello, and thank you for calling Eyedol Games, where all your wishes come true! How can I help you?
Customer: Hey, uh, I have a problem with my console? It's not turning on.
Agent: Understood, sir. I can see how this is very stressful! Information on console hardware is better offered in the Hardware Aid Department. I will be transferring you shortly, if that's okay!
Customer: No, wait. I've already talked to them before. I, uh, paid them to send someone over, and bought some new parts, and those didn't work. I don't need advice, I just need to know what parts I need.
Agent: Sir, this information is available in the Hardware Aid Department, if you'd like further help.
Customer: [sigh]. Okay, send me over there again.
Agent: Of course! Sorry for the inconvenience, I will be transferring you now. Thank you for your patience!
Situation: A customer is attempting to speak to an employee.
Customer's Profile: Female, 17. Anxious.
Goals: Pacify the customer. Place the customer's order. Answer their inquiries in a timely manner.
Agent: Hello, and thank you for calling Eyedol Games, where all your wishes come true! How can I help you?
Customer: ...
Agent: Hello, this is Eyedol Games customer service. May I help you?
Customer: Mom? Is that you? I'm sorry- where'd you go? I didn't... I didn't mean to-- gosh, I'm so--
Agent: I'm sorry, you must be mistaken. This is Eyedol Games customer service.
Customer: --what? But... you... are you lying? Mom, I know it's--
Agent: Miss, I'm sorry, but again, you seem to be mistaken. If you'd like, I can look in our directory for someone with a similar name. What is your name?
Customer: ...Natalie Yemet.
Agent: Thank you, Natalie. There is no one with the last name Yemet in our staff record. However, there is an order for ZampanioQuest Standard Edition in our database.
It was placed by you, on September 13th. Would you still like to receive the copy? It has already been prepaid, so it is at no cost to you.
Customer: I... guess? I don't remember...
Agent: That's okay. If you would not like to receive the copy, please let us know in the next three business days. As of now, I'm marking yours as to be set for delivery. Is that okay?
Customer: I... I don't get it. I never set any orders. I don't know why you're lying to me. Was it dad? Was it me?! Why aren't- damn it, why are you--
Agent: I'm sorry, miss! I didn't mean to cause distress. I will be forwarding this call to the Sales department. Is that alright with you?
Customer: Please-- I need--
Agent: Understood. I will be dispatching you shortly. Thank you for your patience!
Situation: A customer is inquiring about a late delivery.
Customer's Profile: Female, 1. Amicable.
Goals: Redirect the customer to the correct department. Answer their inquiries in a timely manner.
Agent: Hello, and thank you for calling Eyedol Games, where all your wishes come true! How can I help you?
Customer: [indistinct noises of a child].
Agent: Excuse me, what was that?
Customer: [child cooing].
Agent: Of course, miss. I am so sorry about your copy! We'll get this set right away. Do you have your order number written down?
Customer: [More indistinct noises].
Agent: Thank you! Okay, so, repeating, you are looking at order number 231223, is that correct?
Customer: [Elongated coo].
Agent: Of course. I'll pass you onto the Shipping Department shortly. Thank you for your patience!
Situation: A customer is inquiring about the features of the Zampanio Console.
Customer's Profile: Male, 32. Irate.
Goals: Resolve the conflict. Answer their inquiries in a timely manner.
Agent: Hello, and thank you for calling Eyedol Games, where all your wishes come true! How can I help you?
Customer: Alright, you fucking bastards. Stop it with the games.
Agent: I'm sorry, sir, could you repeat yourself? This is Eyedol Games customer service. You may have the wrong number.
Customer: 'Repeat yourself' My ass! 'Wrong number' my fucking ass! You think I don't have basic fucking comprehension skills, huh?! My brother touched your fucking game, and now he's missing, along with every other person that has even looked at your fucking shitpile of an RPG!
Agent: Sir, I don't understand.
Customer: You don't understand?! You know what? Maybe you don't! Maybe you actually don't. Okay! You are some poor schmuck recruited into some kind of mafia scheme somewhere. I don't know if your guys put a tracking chip or some shit into these, but people play it and then they go missing. And you-- are complicit in it! Quit your fucking job!
Agent: Sir, these are unfounded accusations. If you would like to know more about the game, allow me to transfer you to the product department.
Customer: I know about the fucking game! I know! We've already called you sixteen fucking times! I've been through all your fucking departments!
Agent: Sir, I will be transferring you to the Product department now, if that's okay with you.
Customer: Do! Not! Transfer me! Come on! You have to know something! What's your name?! Where are you?! Is there ANYONE back there who's a real fucking person?!
Agent: I will be transferring you now. Thank you for your patience, and have a nice day!