"You WHAT." The Closer's voice is flat. Unamused.
"I'm totally going to rent out all of our rooms~!!" The Flower Chick's voice is bubbly and happy. She seems to be of the opinion this absurd plan is deserving of praise.
"No, I heard that." The Closer pinches her nose. "What I meant was: What does that even mean?" She begins enumerating on her fingers. "First, rent to WHOM? There's no one left to rent TO. Second, it's the end of the world, currency cannot POSSIBLY be real anymore. So rent with WHAT? And finally, and I must stress this: all of our rooms are parts of a hell maze. They are NOT living spaces. No one is going to even WANT this."
"Well FINE, be all negative and stuff but YOU said I had to earn my title and THAT's what I'm doing. My OWN way!"
The Closer supposed there was no harm in the girl having a hobby, but her delusion did make this arrangement just that much harder to bear.
~~~~
"WHAT IS GOING ON?", The Closer has to shout to be heard over the crowd of humanity seething through Truth's Labyrinth.
"I ACCIDENTALLY SCHEDULED ALL THE OPEN HOUSES ON THE SAME DAY!" the girl shouts back, carried away on a tidal press of bodies.
~~~~~~~~~~
Now that the...the 'open house' is finally over, the Closer has a moment to wring some answers out of the girl's empty head.
Before the Closer can open her mouth, the girl is beaming "I told you! We totally have waiting lists out for YEARS just for a spot in the maze! "
The Closer begrudgingly admits she respects these results. But. Truth be told, she'd really rather the girl have FAILED. How does any of this make any sense?
"I will admit my initial concerns were overly pessimistic. Where did you find all of them?"
The girl is vibrating with excitement. It makes the flower in her eye socket move in a way that makes the Closer vaguely uncomfortable.
"Once I realized if I just showed them the path to the room that was perfectly personalized for them it was kind of easy!" She grins. "And THAT was possible because it turns out in an infinite maze EVERYTHING is in there, if you know how to look!"
"Yes..." the Closer muses, mulling over the idea, "but that still doesn't change the fact that we're in the Eyepocalypse. There shouldn't BE any free humans running around."
"Um. I don't know about that? I just went up to all the spooky places and asked people if they wanted to come to the Moon with me??"
...
"You. You went to the Watched. And you. OFFERED THEM A WAY OUT OF ETERNAL TORMENT?" The Closer did not hear that right.
"Yeah! Like, they were really hyped about the moon!"
"You STOLE VICTIMS FROM THE EYE."
The girl just is NOT getting what the problem is here and it makes the Closer's eye twitch.
"Um. Well. Not exactly? It turns out they could VISIT but they couldn't figure out how to claim their room? So they just kinda...milled around a while once they found their spot but then ended up back here I found them???"
Thank the Board. Okay. The Closer can work with this.
"Okay. Okay. So damage control is done. We weren't STEALING anything. Just. Just Putting on a little show for the Eye. Temporary measures. It's. It's fine."
The girl perks up "Yeah, exactly! Totally temporary! Because JR kind of showed up and whispered something to that robot and now apparently all the Titled and Marked know how to claim their space?" She claps "We're going to have new roomies!"
The Closer licks her lips.
"JR. The Arbiter of Truth. THAT JR. Helped you. Rent out rooms. In Truth's Infinite Murder Maze." Of course they did. It wasn't as if if the Closer expected life to be easy. Wait...Titled? Okay, okay, yes, the Closer can work with this.
"But ONLY the Titled right? The Unmarked and the Watched are still where they should be? In the Domains for the Eye?" The Closer thinks about this as the girl nods enthusiastically. "But the Titled and the Marked already HAVE personalized spaces. Their Domains are right down there."
"Uh. Haven't you ever wanted a little space to call your own? To like, totally kick back and relax and not have to worry about work???"
"No."
"Lame. You totally need to relax more!"
The Closer takes a deep breath.
"Am I given to understand you convinced JR, The Eye, and presumably Truth itself that renting out BREAK ROOMS in the murder maze is a viable business opportunity? And. Additionally. That business is indeed a thing that can happen during literal hell on earth."
The Closer admits. She's impressed. She'd thought of her time on this Moon Base as forced leave but... Perhaps Business is in the Eye of the Beholder.