Preface

True Story
Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/39648690.

Rating:
Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning:
No Archive Warnings Apply
Fandom:
Zampanio
Language:
English
Stats:
Published: 2011-11-11 Words: 595 Chapters: 1/1

True Story

True Story

>you are a teenager in the year 2000

>you've gotten shot after an argument on the internet, with no proof that it's even related. you aren't even sure, but it's at the pit of your stomach

>so whatever

>you quit the geo spheres, you move on to somethingawful, people are weird but they are funny to your teenager brain

>pole makes 4chan in 2003 after the anime ban in something awful, you migrate

>cos you still wanna talk about anime

>even if youre not as conflict heavy as before

>fast forward to 2008

>youtube launched 2 years ago

>it's spread around

>not like

>huge hug

>but some of the biggest channels have 500k subscribers

>in less than a year, nigahiga is going to be the first channel to reach one million subscribers

>but you still prefer hanging round the forums, facebook's been around for just a bit but it's just too filled with your class normied to care

>someone links at a youtube video in one of the anime boards

>some total idiot's channel

>camera quality even worse than the already terrible quality of 2008

>you can make out a couch and maybe a tv but nothing else of the room

>he's slurring every word, like he's high or drunk or both, and has THE worst takes you've ever heard

>absolutely the most deranged, incoherent takes

>sometimes too edgy even for you

>you find this sincerely funny

>it's reposted on somethingawful

>There's a thread DEDICATED just to this guy the next day

>the best part is this guy is responsive

>it's like he acts purely on the first thought that comes to his head, he's so easy to troll

>and you all have your fun with it

>but the thing none of you can figure out is that sometimes

>in the background

>something peeks in, censored head to toe

>and you all wonder who it is

>his mom maybe? Some thing of parental figure? neighbor? handler?

>and you ALL immediately spend

>WEEKS of your life trying to figure out where he lives

>to dupe him into saying it

>and you fail

>you can't get it

>you DO learn, however, that waving anime in front of him will get him to come anywhere

>so you conspire to send correspondence through email

>and one of you goes and meets him

>this is your greatest caper yet

>the one you send has one of those first gen iphones, they are writing posts as they're there

>taking pictures, documenting everything

>this dude REALLY is the careless, bumbling, showerless idiot he plays himself to be and more

>your friend has gone to CRITICAL lengths to describe the sheer odor they carry on their unwashed anime coat

>and JUST as the post that says they're going to his house goes off

>they go black

>you dont hear from them for days

>you all assume they just chickened out last sec of w/e, some of you joke the idiot actually killed them

>weeks later, their account comes back online

>from their family or something

>they got into an accident and they're catatonic, they don't really know, that they felt it was prudent to tell their internet friends

>their phone was not on them

>but it had this very dumb self-made case, purely wrapped in painters tape, it was supposed to look edgy

>and you swear to god

>and you aren't SURE

>because the quality is so bad

>but in the next upload, he's passing off an iphone with some tape-like color to the mystery person

>it kinda. kinda kills the vibe



Afterword

Please drop by the archive and comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!